A Re-Do

I had started to write something today about how much one of my colleagues is driving me nuts (and in fact wrote a fairly long anecdote about how crazy she is), but realized that there is a remote chance she could read this blog someday and make the connection about who I was talking about. She herself is on a weight-loss endeavor, and if she stumbles across this in her quest for inspiration (which is how I have found all of my inspiration blogs), well, that would be bad.

So now that I'm on Post #2 for the day but no one gets to see the first one, I don't really feel like writing too much.

So I'll just put down for posterity that after 3 headache-free days, I ended up with a migraine yesterday after eating three bites (only three bites!) of an overripe avocado. That'll teach me to think I know better than my forbidden food list!

Feeling much better today, though.

So Close...

Good morning! I was thinking I should babble on about something topical and important for a while before getting to my weigh-in, but really that's all I want to talk about today. I lost again! 3.3 pounds to be exact, putting me at 190.3. I'm very happy with that. I know I said yesterday that I was ready to see an 8 in the middle decimal place (and believe me, I am!!), but I really cannot complain about a 3.3-pound loss. That's pretty awesome, especially given that I really only ate healthfully 5 of the 7 days this past week.

On the headache front, things are going well! Much to my dismay I discovered yesterday that it is not possible to purchase wheat-free bread that does not have fresh yeast in it in the DC metropolitan area. Of course, I discovered this only after treking to Whole Foods during my lunch break in the rain and wind, buying some gluten-free bread, treking back, and THEN reading the label when I got back to my office. Brilliant :)

So I decided that if I was ever going to get a break from oatmeal for breakfast I was going to have to find a way to make my own bread. I found a recipe for yeast-free oat bread, and I already had all the ingredients necessary, so I made that last night. Once again my lack of baking/cooking prowess stymied a successful effort. Somehow the bread turned out very heavy, dense, and kind of gooey. I guess it didn't rise, despite the two tablespoons of baking powder I put in. Does anyone know if baking powder goes bad? I've had mine for about 7-8 years, so I'm blaming that. Not, of course, my lack of baking skills :)

I also made some zucchini fritters last night which were...meh...I didn't have the energy to defrost and cook a chicken breast or shrimp (peeling! Deveining! ugh!), so to satisfy my protein/vegetable/fat requirements for dinner, I just shredded some zucchini, added eggs, chopped onion, chopped parsley, garlic, and a bunch of spices and then fried them in patties. Not exactly spectacular, but I'm going to pretend they were because I have leftovers for lunch today :)

In totally unrelated news, tonight I'm going to watch the pre-Halloween drag race that takes place in Dupont Circle every year. I've lived or worked in the area for 8 years and yet I've never witnessed this sublimely sophisticated DC institution. I anticipate it being...bizarre. Of course, I forgot my camera so I won't be able to post personal photos, but here's a preview of what I'll be seeing tonight...among other things, I'm guessing! You know, watching runners compete in races like marathons and 5Ks is usually very inspiring for me. I wonder if watching a bunch of men in fishnets, feather boas and stilettos galumphing down a road will have the same effect?

DIY- How Not To Make Meringues

So I learned yesterday that in order to make meringues properly, you actually have to follow the recipe's directions. Well, some of them at least.

Over the weekend I was having some serious cravings for something sweet. Anything. It could have been a mince meat pie and I probably would have eaten it. But given that I had a spectacular 4 migraines last week (boo migraines - I'm blaming the wheat/flour I ate), I knew I couldn't go out and just have any random crap. I needed headache-safe crap. Which meant I needed to make it myself.

I think I've mentioned before that I'm not the most accomplished cook, and this whole anti-headache diet effort has been an ongoing lesson in How Not To Create Inedible Meals With Very Few Ingredients. I have an anti-headache cookbook, which has been pretty helpful. I'd say that half of the meals I've made from there have been edible (the other half, not so much). But to satisfy my sweet tooth, I decided to try to make lemon meringue cookies from the cookbook. They headache-safe and they're low-calorie! What more could I want?

A lot, it turns out. Apparently when making meringues, dumping an entire cup and a half of sugar at once into soft-peak" egg whites turns your mixture into a soupy mess. Apparently they weren't kidding about adding the sugar slowly. And no amount of additional beating will change that. I decided to try and salvage the effort by pouring the egg-sugar soup into lightly greased muffin tins and non-baking as instructed.

The result? 12 hours later I discovered I had egg-sugar muffins consisting of an incredibly sweet hard-sugar shell surrounding equally sweet white goo inside, layered over a pool of oily nastiness on the bottom. I'm pretty sure that's not how the recipe was supposed to turn out. Wish I'd taken a photo.

At any rate, I think I'm going to try again tonight. Maybe overnight I will have been transformed into a culinary genius.

On other fronts, tomorrow is my weigh-in. I'm not sure how this one will go since I didn't behave very well in the first part of the week but then behaved quite well after Wednesday. I'd love to see the scale go down. After 5 months in the 190s, it's time to see 180s, baby!

I'll be sure to report tomorrow.

Who Are These People Anyway?

I could have alternatively called this post Why Weight Watchers Isn't for Me, and I might still change it...

One of the pages I have bookmarked on my computer is the Weight Watchers page. I have tried the program no less than 5 times (which will comprise future entries, never fear!), the latest for exactly one meeting...the admin folks there must hate me. But I keep going back because the program is sensible, overall. So I keep the homepage bookmarked and every now and then visit the message boards for recipe and other inspirations.

So the other day I was browsing the web looking for weight-loss inspiration (yes, I should have been working but no, I didn't want to. I'm guessing that doesn't exactly commend me to the boss) and I decided to peek into the Core Weight Watchers message board. I am, in some respects, following a modified Core plan, just without counting any points at all.

As I was clicking around, trying to find some inspiration, I happened up on a message titled "Pesto Core?" Thinking, "hey, I like Pesto, and I like the Core plan," I clicked on it (I also had the smug feeling that I knew the answer - yes! It is!)

It read (and yes, I'm paraphrasing, but I swear I'm not making this up): "I know you're not supposed to eat processed foods on the Core plan, so I'm worried about pesto. All the ingredients I used -- basil, olive oil, parmesan, and pine nuts -- are Core, but then I put them in the food PROCESSOR. I tried not to process it too much and just kept it pretty chunky, but does the fact that I processed it make the pesto non-core?"

Oh my god, people. And my family wonders why I don't do Weight Watchers anymore...

Something Smells Fishy

Have any of you ever been to the eating disorder website Something Fishy? It is a resource site for all kinds of eating disorders, ranging from anorexia to binge eating disorder and bulimia.

In my darker days, when I was feeling consumed by feelings of loneliness and helplessness and all I could see was a bleak future filled with nights spent sprawled on the couch surrounded by krispy kreme boxes and half-eaten pints of Ben and Jerry's, I would sit on my creaky futon in the dark after work and scroll through the website. I spent a lot of time looking at the memorials for people (mostly women) who had lost their battles with eating disorders. It was incredibly morbid, and yet it seemed to legitimize some of my own feelings.

One of the parts of that website is a message board that is divided into specific eating disorders. I spent some time on the COE/Bulimia/BED board, reading what others have written about their own experiences. I never posted myself, partly because I didn't know what to say and partly because in a way I felt food issues were not as severe as theirs and I didn't need to post. But I read a lot.

And one of the things I noticed was that it is verboten to mention specific foods, particularly when talking about a binge, because it might inspire others to binge on that food or trigger unhealthy behavior in other participants. I understood the concept but always thought they took it a bit too far.

But recently I have been wondering if they weren't correct in their thinking. I've been reading a lot of blogs lately, mostly weight-loss related. Some I've read before and others are new. It's a great way to gain some inspiration, but in the last week I've noticed a problem related to reading them. When I am having an emotional eating episode and I am trying to figure out what I want to binge on, some of the first foods that come to mind are those mentioned in these blogs.

For example, I've been reading blogs by a number of British weight-loss bloggers, and several of them mention their love of hot buttered toast and how that is a big binge food for them. So what did I do the other night when I was trying to figure out what would make me feel better? I went out and bought a loaf of white bread with the intention of toasting it and slathering it with butter. This was something I'd never done before.

I actually didn't get very far into the loaf, and the bread was pretty low-quality, so I didn't enjoy the toast much. But still, it was worrisome behavior.

Then this morning when I was contemplating what to eat for breakfast to make me feel better about my car and having a migraine, it occurred to me that there was a Chik-Fil-A in the mall on my way to the metro. Normally it would NEVER occur to me to eat Chik-Fil-A...in fact, I wasn't even aware it was open for breakfast. But the other day I was watching a video on YouTube about someone with bulimia, and the video blogger mentioned having binged on Chik-Fil-A for breakfast - biscuits with gravy, specifically.

I really wanted biscuits with gravy this morning.

As I mentioned in my last post, I got through that craving and made my own breakfast, so all is ok for now. But again, worrisome behavior.

And as I was walking to the metro this morning, I actually passed a man carrying a bag of Chic-Fil-A. I didn't want it by that point at all, but it was a funny coincidence - and proof that the place really is open for breakfast!

I rarely go to Something Fishy these days. I'm not in as dark a place as I used to be, and for some reason that site always made me feel much, much sicker (in terms of food issues) than I do normally. Like I was absorbing these bad, psychotic vibes. And sometimes I felt like the people on there were almost enjoying wallowing in their behaviors. That's hardly fair, I know, but there it is.

From Compuslive Eating to Emotional Eating

I had a pseudo-revelation last night. I call it pseudo because it is something I've given a fair amount of thought to and acknowledged as being part of my life before, but never has it been so crystal clear.

Last night I went to a happy hour with some friends. It was at our local bar, it was really cozy and nice, and the company was great. In short, on a cold fall evening, it was a good way to spend some time. I even realized that at the time, looking around the warmly lit bar area. The atmosphere was great. But I wasn't drinking and I hadn't eaten yet. The first made it so that I eventually got sick of just sitting there while everyone else had a drink, and the second made me anxious. The fact that not having eaten yet made me anxious is probably a warning sign in and of itself, but when you're following as strict a diet as I am, the compulsion to stay on schedule and not having other plans "mess up" your eating is strong.

I was planning to make sushi, but for various reasons I knew it would be a while before after I left the bar before I could actually sit down and eat (to make a long story short, I needed to go back to my apartment, get the ingredients, drive over the the store, pick up one more ingredient, and then drive back to BF's place to make dinner for both of us - all starting at about 8 pm).

So I was annoyed/anxious when we started the trek but got to my place, picked up the ingredients and went out to my car.

And the battery was dead. Now under normal circumstances this would be annoying. As it was, since I was already anxious and annoyed and my battery had died multiple times in the previous year, I was furious. Possibly with my car but mostly with myself, because I was thinking I had done it myself - again! Maybe left a light on or something. I was so sick of just being disorganized and having crap like this happen that I was furious. Plus it meant we'd have to walk all the way to the grocery store and then all the way to BF's place (25 minutes total).

I was so angry I couldn't speak, and the poor bewildered BF had no idea what to do with me. As we were walking to the store, though, my immediate thought was, "screw it, I'm not going to make sushi, I deserver something fattening and good tasting and rich because my night just went to shit!" Then I realized I would look crazy in front of the BF (chances are he already knows I'm crazy, but still).

So long story short I stuck with the sushi but to make myself feel better used soy sauce and pickled ginger. I know, big splurge. The only trouble is, I ended up with a massive migraine afterward. Ugh.

So once again this morning I wanted to eat crap because of my headache and was sure that what would make me feel better was a big, greasy bacon egg and cheese and a blueberry muffin (that used to be my binge breakfast of choice). Instead, since I had to take migraine medication and I also knew that cheese and bacon would probably be bad for my head, I made simple fried eggs on toast...and even skipped the margerine in case it had bad stuff in it.

So my head mostly feels better now and I'm glad I ate a mostly healthy (and headache-avoiding) breakfast.

But it was interesting, both times in the last 24 hours, how strong and immediately the urge to eat crap hit me. As soon as something goes badly for me, wham! I want starches, sweets, carbs! Comfort food! I honestly don't know how to overcome that. But I have to try.

Let's just say I really identify with Erin, who writes over on Angry Fat Girlz. Her most recent post there really struck home.

That's all for now. Sorry for the rambly (and no so cheery) nature of this post. I just needed to write about this.

When Life Hands You a Loss, You Take It

Good morning! I'm feeling surprisingly good this morning, despite how last night turned out.

So first, the weigh-in. I was down almost 3 pounds to 193.6. Strange considering a) I ate pretty badly straight through until Friday and was 196.4 on Saturday b) It's TTOM, which usually adds some pounds and c) I ate badly last night (more on that in a moment). Is it a real loss? Who knows, but I'll take it, and that might have something to do with why I'm feeling pretty good.

Especially after last night, which was a doozy. I mentioned yesterday I started to get a headache after lunch. I'm guessing it was a TTOM headache, because it turned into a full-fledged migraine with no provocation whatsoever that I could think of (again, possibly too many tomatoes or avocados, I guess, but I doubt it). I was so pissed off that I had a headache that just said, "screw it, if I'm going to have a headache anyway, I might as well eat the kind of crap that gives me a headache!" So I did - a Snickers bar, an M&M cookie, an apple streudel, a cinnamon scone, and a couple pieces of toast with butter or brie. All carbs, sugar, fat, and white bread. Mmmm...actually, it wasn't really that great. It didn't make my headache worse and it made me feel a bit more cheery, what with the cramps and everything. But I did have the presence of mind to make sure I have a non-headache-inducing lunch for both today and tomorrow (it involved cooking, which I totally didn't want to do but did anyway) and a good breakfast for both days too. (Muesli with fruit for breakfast - thank you Dietgirl - and brown rice pasta with white clam sauce and asparagus for lunch).

So here's to a headache-free and healthy day! We'll see how it goes!

Monotonous Monday

Does anyone really like Mondays? Ugh. I don't. I sometimes wonder if I liked my job a bit better if I wouldn't have as big a problem with Mondays, but I suspect that is not the case. I think most people prefer the weekend (and, by consequence, the latter half of the week because that means the weekend is approaching) to Monday or Tuesday.

I'm not really sure where I'm going with this. Mostly just babbling. I don't have too much to say today for some reason. Maybe because even though I've eaten extremely healthfully the last three days and was feeling full of vim and vinegar this morning, I'm now feeling kind of lethargic and a bit headachy. It's possibly that TTOM is to blame...last time, before I started the anti-headache diet, I had one of the worst migraines of my life the first day and then smaller headaches the subsequent few days. This time I have not had a migraine and am only now experiencing a small headache. If that's hormonal and unrelated to food, fine. I'll take it, because it's much better than having a migraine and not knowing what else might be causing the headache. If it's that the anti-headache diet isn't working anymore...well, that's a bigger problem (I also had a lot of tomatoes and avocado for lunch today - possibly too much and headache is a result? I'm not supposed to have more than 1/2 a cup per day of either).

I really want to go to the gym this evening despite the headache...it might be a shorter workout, but at least I'll be going. Oh, and tomorrow morning is my weekly weigh-in (it's on Tuesday mornings, stark naked, after I pee but before I eat breakfast or shower - why Tuesdays is a holdover from when I was doing Weight Watchers the time before last and I weighed in on Tuesday evenings. Once I decided to strike out on my own, I decided to keep the Tuesday tradition). Where was I? Oh, tomorrow is the weekly weigh-in, but I don't expect it to be too fabulous for a couple reasons. One, until Friday (2.5 days ago) I was not eating very well and as of the last weigh-in had gone back up to 196 ish pounds. On Saturday I was still 196 ish, so it's possible I will have lost a pound or two of water weight from three days of healthy eating, but if I haven't I won't be surprised. This is partly because, as I mentioned, it's TTOM, and while I don't feel especially bloated, I'm always a pound or two heavier that weigh-in.

So we'll see. I'll report back tomorrow. I'm determined not to be too upset one way or another, though! The only thing I don't want at all is to see that needle creep back up over 200!!! That is my bottom line right now.

TTFN!

The Healthy Food Diet

So I'm slowly starting to realize that I might have reached a place in my life where I have to eat healthy food and only healthy food. For some that might sound like a good problem to have. But for someone who has devoted far too many nights to finding dinners at 7-Eleven or Rite Aid, having to feed myself entirely from wholesome, whole, non-preserved food presents a big and scary challenge.

Last night, I went to drinks after work with one of my (relatively new) friends. It was to celebrate or commiserate about how my interview went earlier in the day. It was a "drink no matter how it turns out" night. We went to a beautiful restaurant in Farragut Square with a bar that on Friday nights serves a bar menu devoted to autumn. It was such a cozy scene. All the drinks were made from apple cider and came with a tasting menu of autumnal food - venison chili, pumpkin puffs with maple cream, sweet potato samosas. Mixed with great conversation and a beautiful atmosphere, it was a good way to end the week.

Unfortunately, I ended up with a migraine this morning. I'm not sure how much of it was because I'd eaten crap for lunch (clam chowder, bread, and an apple turnover). I started getting a headache soon after lunch. Was it the milk in the chowder? The wheat bread? The sugar in the turnover? Who knows. But I'm guessing the food last night didn't help. Or the alcohol.

So this morning I had to get back on the anti-headache diet. But it's so frustrating...yesterday I basically ate good food - or at least well-prepared with wholesome ingredients, even if they were not low-fat. But they still gave me a headache. I don't know. Maybe I'm going to have to just adhere to the headache diet 90% of the time and then just splurge every now and then.

If only I could be more like this blogger: http://teach77.wordpress.com. She clearly has a love affair with good, wholesome food and is a darn good cook to boot. I love reading her entries. Plus, I secretly want to be Scottish :) You should check it out too.

You Can Always Tell a Compulsive Eater...

I read something yesterday that said you can always tell a weight loss blogger is a compulsive eater when she (or he, I guess, but let's be real - most weight loss bloggers are women) posts for a few days or even weeks, talking about how well their plan is going, and then disappears for a month, only to reappear for a couple more weeks, full of confessions about diet wrongdoing and ice cream snorfed. It made me wonder. Do I fall into that category? I hardly qualify as a blogger yet, having logged in very few entries so far. I do tend to post and then not post, as described. But most of the time I didn't post in the most recent non-posting episode I was actually eating quite well, and other things just made it hard for me to blog (job got busy, people in town, studying, etc).

That said, I think I probably am a compulsive eater...certainly an emotional one. And I have an unhealthy relationship with food. Take today, for example. I knew I had to get back on track from the weekend after suffering a migraine post-bad-food extravaganza; it was patently clear that my head problem, at least that day, was the result of poor eating. So I did well yesterday but then today I stumbled. Or fell flat on my face. After getting up really early to go to a job interview, I had a healthy (non-headache-inducing) bowl of oatmeal and strawberries. But then the interview didn't go too well (they're not supposed to have you out in less than 45 minutes, I don't think), and all I could think after was "man, food would make me feel better. I deserve to eat something delicious because I suck. And hell, the interview probably went badly because, let's be honest, who would want a fat person representing your company anyway? So I might as well eat and fulfill all their assumptions."

Hellloooo emotional eating. So I had a chocolate donut and a bacon, egg, and cheese sandwich. And now I have a bit of a headache. Figures.

So now I'm blogging about eating badly. I'm not sure if that makes me a compulsive-eater-weight-loss-blogger or not. It definitely makes me a guilt-ridden one. And one prone to despair about my future. Ugh.

That said, there is a bright note here. I have a couple of new friends for whom I am extremely grateful. One texted me to wish me good luck before the interview, and another inquired about it immediately after. And they're taking me out to drinks tonight (whether it goes well or not). They're so sweet and good for me. I can't help but wonder why they like hanging out with me. I'm kind of a downer right now. How's that for self-confidence, huh? But I guess that's a topic (a long one) for another day.

Still Kickin'

Helllooo! On the off chance that anyone is reading this, I thought I'd start with a proper greeting and pretend that all my loyal readers missed me...that sounded a bit cynical, didn't it? It isn't, really. I just know that the chance of anyone finding my blog randomly is very small :)

So anyway, I have news! I think I solved my headache problem!!!!! It's amazing and exciting and I'm cautiously optimistic that I will pull through. You see, my friends, it really does seem to all come down to diet (seriously, is there any part of my life that doesn't revolve around food? Ugh). But no, really. To recap, I started following the headache prevention diet using recipes from the Headache Prevention Cookbook (I'm sure there's some official credit I'm supposed to give here, but I'm kind of lazy). I also eliminated dairy and wheat, on the off chance that I have developed some kind of allergy to those products in the last couple of years.

This restrictive diet has done four things for me: It has given me the chance to explore the vast and heretofore untapped world of rice milk, rice pasta and natural thickeners such as arrowroot powder; it has made me a better cook (seriously, you have to make things taste good just with meat, vegetables, and herbs and spices - not easy for this culinarily-impaired person); it has made me healthier - I actually have energy! And I lost weight; and, most importantly, it has gotten rid of my headaches. I should also note that I've stopped taking any medications, including Excedrin, and am treating any pain with ginger (a natural anti-inflammatory) and am taking Migrelief, which is a mix of B vitamins, and tumeric (another natural anti-inflammatory). HOWEVER, while these natural herbs are likely helping, they are not the source of the pain relief because a couple times when I have eaten things that are not in the anti-headache diet, I have developed a headache (interesting, no? Oh, it's not? Well, it is to me!)

At any rate, it's good news all around. The first week on the diet I lost 4 pounds to go down to 192. Then the Boy's parents came to town and it involved a lot of stress (marriage questions, blah) and eating out. So this Tuesday's weigh-in was not good. I was back up the 4 pounds I'd lost the week before (and had more headaches). So as of this morning I'm back on the anti-headache regimen. I think I'm going to have to try to do this regimen most of the time and then allow the occasional slip-up. We'll see. It's a tough prospect for someone who has so many Issues with food as it is.

Friday, Part 2

Apart from headache stuff, this should be a nice weekend. Relaxing, anyway. We're having beautiful fall weather here right now (I live in northern Virginia) and it's supposed to be in the low- to mid-seventies and sunny all weekend. Crisp mornings, just-changing trees, sunny weather! I definitely want to go for a walk this weekend!

Other than that, tonight I'm just going to take it easy. Cook a headache-free (hopefully) meal, watch The Office, which I missed last night because I was at the debate party, and possibly watch Elizabeth, which I have never seen but got on Netflix. I'm seeing a movie on Saturday night with a couple people at the theater about a block away from where I live, so I'm glad we're still staying close to home. Like I said, a relaxing weekend. I think we're also going to dinner beforehand, so we'll see what I can eat. Sunday I'm volunteering at a 10-mile race, which is fun, but I'm not so excited about working the early shift! I'm supposed to be there at 6 a.m.!

Other than that, I've got some class work to do for the Biomedical Ethics class I'm taking at the local community college. It's interesting stuff, but I think the professor is a bit nuts. I really do need to take the first test sometime soon, though. I think a trip to Whole Foods and Trader Joe's will also be on the agenda to get some preservative-free food and pick up a fryer chicken to make chicken stock with (I'll let you know how that goes! Never done it before!). I love going to stores like that in fall. They really get me in the fall mood! Browsing around colorful leaf displays, fat pumpkins, sunflowers, hay bales. It makes me want to go on a hay ride!

Anyway, that's the plan and all for now. Maybe next time I write I won't have a headache!

Bye for now.

Fabulous Friday

I'm going with the mind over matter concept with my title on this one. Not that it's a bad Friday...but it will involve a lot of work when I have a headache, which doesn't sound too appealing.

So first things first. Yes, I still have a headache. It's not too bad but has been here pretty much consistently since yesterday morning (I had about a two-hour break around lunchtime yesterday when I seemed pain-free). But I'm continuing on with the anti-headache diet and just trying to pretend I don't have one. Went to the gym yesterday and then to watch the VP debate. Others at the debate party got silly drunk, but since I'm on a no-alcohol regimen, I had to stick to carrots. Woohoo! Crazy stuff, I tell ya.

Anyway, foodwise, I had the same thing for dinner last night that I had at lunch - more of the asparagus-beef stir fry - and I have leftovers again for today at lunch. That's a lot of beef (well, two lunches and two dinners over three days) but it was a lot of steak I had thawed! And I had my raspberries and plain oatmeal with rice milk (without sugar today) plus coffee with rice milk for breakfast today. Headache might be slightly better with the caffeine but not significantly.

Yay for NSVs

Today has been a good day so far. I woke up with only a small headache (which was a big improvement over last night, when I had a migraine - yes, the small headache after lunch just kept getting worse). I'm wearing a wrap dress I really like, which apparently is very slimming. When I dropped off my rent check, it was like it was "let's make Mags feel good day" and no one had told me. My apartment manager exclaimed, "whoa, you've lost a ton of weight!" And some random lady who I hadn't even noticed when I walked in because she was hiding behind the door added, "And that dress is so flattering on you - you look wonderful!"

It was a very nice way to start the day (having to fork over $1,000+ notwithstanding), and I felt great walking outside. Until the brisk fall breeze blew my skirt up. Stupid wrap design. But still...it's a gorgeous fall day out! And having these random women compliment me made me realize "hey, yeah, I have lost a lot of weight, and I'm looking pretty good!" I might not be done (in fact, only about half way done), but 50 pounds is a lot of weight to have lost, and I should be proud of myself, recent struggles notwithstanding.

Anyway, when I got to work, a couple girls at work complimented me on my new haircut (It's curly and a little sassy!) and my dress.

So I'm feeling good! The headache I woke up with seems to be easing a bit. I decided to have coffee with rice milk today because, historically, caffeine has helped my head, and I'd like to not get another migraine today. So we'll see. I'm still on the crazy strict diet (but I've lost 1.4 pounds in two days because of it - maybe water weight, but still!). Last night I had steak and broccoli stir fry over brown rice, which was actually quite good. I'm having it again for lunch today. And this morning I had plain oatmeal again with raspberries, rice milk, and a pinch of natural, organic cane sugar. Oh, and the rice milk coffee.

Not sure what dinner will be, but since I have steak still thawed, it will probably involve that. I'm thinking about looking into making some curries...I think I can have coconut milk!

That's all for now. Yay for feeling good!

Yeah, Still Have a Headache

So I had a headache (though a minor one) for most of yesterday afternoon, despite the supposedly trigger-free lunch. I was able to work out, though, after taking some Alleve. Headache stayed away mostly for the rest of the day and I had a trigger-free dinner. Chicken thighs baked with garlic cloves, fresh tarragon, and canola oil. Accompanied by zucchini sauteed in garlic, canola oil, cilantro and white rice with some kind of oil and cardamom (that could have been a problem- it was leftover from an Indian meal and I'm not sure what all was in there).

Was doing fine today until after lunch. Now I have a bit of a headache. So far today I've eaten an egg cooked with butter, some plain instant oatmeal made with rice milk and topped with raspberries, and some leftovers from dinner last night. Oh, and grapes.

I wonder if the headache I have now is somehow a blood sugar reaction to eating, period? Perhaps it's lack of caffeine? Either way, it's annoying. I suppose it could be psychological. But it's way too early to say that. If this is only day 1 (well, first FULL day on the no-headache diet), I can't really say it's not a food trigger.

Anyway, I imagine eating all this pure food will be good for my weight loss efforts regardless!