Back to Normal

Hello anyone and everyone! My headache is gone!!!!! I just had to report that. I will not be suffering the same fate as people who have headaches and can't get rid of them for months or years at a time. That just sounds awful.

Now I just have to keep eating healthfully and according to my anti-headache regimen. It's boring, but it's worth it!

Another Weigh-In

I haven't updated in a while, but I figure weigh-in day is a good day to try to get back into it. Plus, I get to report a happy weigh-in, which is always a good incentive to write. Would you believe that I finally, finally made it into the 180s??? As of this morning I was 189.4 pounds. I even got on the scale twice to make sure I wasn't imagining things. It said 198.4 both times. Yay!!! I wrote a little while ago about how much I wanted to break the 190 barrier, but despite trying for a couple weeks, I didn't seem to be able to do it. Apparently what I needed to do was stop trying!

Weight loss hasn't exactly been my top priority these last couple weeks. I've had a lot of school work (two tests in four days - totally my fault, though, as I'm a lazy ass who just didn't do any school work until the last minute), family drama, and just general business. The result has been fairly unhealthy eating and a spectacularly unhealthy dose of migraine medications to take care of the massive headaches I got from eating off-plan. The overall result was a gain of another 0.7 pounds to an even 194 last Tuesday. Then this weekend I got my comeuppance. Starting Thursday night I got a massive headache. I took the last of my medication (I can't get another refill for two weeks) but the headache came back the next day and stayed. It's now Tuesday, and the pain has subsided to one throbbing point on the righthand side of my head. Manageable, but still not fun. I think the medication probably caused a rebound effect. Bad medication!

But the result of all this is that starting Thursday night I recommitted to eating my non-headache food. And I'm being really h ard core about it. I'm pretty sure that's what caused the weight loss on the scale this morning. And I have every intention of keeping this up (it's easy to say that when your head still hurts), but it's going to be interesting. In the space of four days I will have three Thanksgiving dinners to go to (well, one was on Sunday, I have another tomorrow night that I'm cooking, and a third one on Thanksgiving itself).

My solution is to make headache-friendly food I can bring. Hopefully it will work. I'll try to report back afterward!

Anyway, for now, I'm just going to celebrate being in the 180s!

Weigh-In Day

I was back up today to 193.8. I had a pretty bad week foodwise, so it's not exactly shocking. I think a lot of that 3.8-lb gain is water weight and other stuff. I'm not too worried that I can lose it this week (and hopefully get below 190).

My sister came to visit, which I suppose could be to blame for a little bit of the bad eating, but mostly it was just emotional. For no reason that I can think of - just that I wanted to eat because I felt kind of down this past week. Hm.

I'm determined to make a fresh start today, though.

Onward and downward!

Feel Like a Blog

Alternative title: Ugh

I totally don't feel like posting today, bu t I think that's probably a good indicator that I NEED to post. After all, the purpose of this blog is to get my issues/thoughts/feelings out there.

Basically, I feel like a total fat blob (I keep typing blog instead of blob in there - hmmm...) today. Which is so bizarre given that I felt super slim and fabulous just two days ago. But two (ok, I think today is #3) days of eating poorly and I'm a psychological mess. Every time I looked in my reflection in the window on the way to work this morning, all I could see was my multiple chins, saggy boobs, and spare tire around my waist. Wearing a somewhat revealing shirt (as in it's a very thin material and really shows the spare tire), isn't helping. Ugh.

And of course all that I want to do when I feel this gross/bad is eat, and so far I haven't been able to stop myself.

I know logically I don't look any different than I did on Monday, and I probably don't weight any more (still sitting at 190), but it's psychologically rough.

I think I've also got a lot on the brain, and to be honest, I'm feeling kind of down. This is an annual problem for me, possibly related to weather, possibly to the holidays. As I was brushing my teeth this morning, I heard in the background a commercial for what I assume is some sort of holiday-themed product, because it was playing some Christmas carol. I didn't want to hear it, partly because it's too early, and partly because of what Christmas means. It means yet another holiday season when I'm not feeling joyous about where my life is, despite all the rest of the world apparently feeling joyous. It's the end of another year without me having real love in my life. And it will be another strained Christmas with the family. It's hard to even contemplate. The last couple Christmases, just to escape my family, I've either brought my boyfriend with me or gone to his family's Christams. That just isn't an option this year, in no small part because I can't keep up the charade of pretending he's the love of my life in front of his family. Obviously it means we need to break it off. But I can't bring myself to do that either. Ugh.

What's frustrating is that I have so much trouble stopping myself from eating poorly when I feel this bad, even though I know perfectly well what it's going to do to my body, my brain, and my headache-prone head! Ugh.

Sister is coming to visit this weekend. Not that she can keep me from eating (god knows she has her own food-related issues), but at least she'll provide a distraction from food so I can get back on (or at least near the) track.

A Historic Day

It would be hard to write anything at all today without mentioning the election yesterday. Barack Obama won a decisive victory yesterday, and it gives me new hope for the future. It would be nice to once again be able to say I'm proud to be an American (cue song lyrics...). I hope he is up for what will undoubtedly be a massive challenge to get this nation back on its feet.

I spent election night as any self-respecting denizen of our nation's capital should...drinking, eating crap, analyzing CNN's projections, and coloring my U.S. map as each state was called for Obama. It was a great night, and I'm thrilled.

Unfortunately, I am also sleep-deprived and coming off what can only be described as a sugar binge launched to ease my nerves.

Yes, I have a headache, and it's pissing me off. I've reached the point where I'm so sick of my head hurting that any kind of headache upsets me, which just makes me want to eat more crap. Ugh. This is starting to look like it might require a death medicine.

Anyway, I think it was worth it. Yesterday was a great day for America, and I hope it heralds more great days to come.

If You Squint Your Eyes Really Tightly You Can See It

If you squint your eyes and peer really closely, you can see my loss this past week. Yes, it was that tiny. 0.3 pounds, taking me down to an even 190.0. Ugh. I SO wanted to be in the 180s this week, finally! And I was convinced that I was. The two pairs of pants I bought two weeks ago are falling off of me (ok, I haven't washed them yet, but still!), and I felt like I behaved all week.

But looking back, I guess you could make a case for how I didn't eat 100% well. The fact is, I followed my anti-headache diet to a T, which previously has made for automatic weight-loss. However, I got a little more creative in my cooking endeavors within the restrictions of my anti-headache diet and made two loaves of bread and spare ribs. So I had bread at least once a day every day. I also had the ribs (which were delicious but very fatty) for two meals. And I ate half a box of rice krispies one day. I also think I might be too generous with my use of butter. Finally, I only exercised twice, and neither workout was very vigorous.

So altogether I guess it shouldn't be that surprising that I didn't have a huge loss.

I just need to deal with it better. Getting on the scale and seeing that this morning kind of bummed me out. Then I had to go vote (which is actually a good thing - this country needs serious change - but not the process). I had to wait in line for two hours in the cold, and by the time I got to work I was starving again, breakfast having been three hours previously. So after the disappointment on the scale, the stress of waiting in line, and the hunger, I broke down and got a bacon egg and cheese sandwich. And a donut.

THAT should help with a loss next Tuesday!

Hmph.