Recording Feelings

This morning I am anxious - actually, almost panicked. Because of how fat I feel. How messed up I know I am about food. etc. I've been doing OA, and I'm still so on the fence about it. On the one hand, I really see myself in those people, and on the other, I don't. I'm not as crazy as a lot of them. At least, I don't think I am. And I don't want to be that crazy. I'm hoping I can do some introspection, figuring myself out without getting into all the OA craziness. I want to work on the steps and write and read, but the meetings - ugh. Hm. We'll see. I succeeded in getting over another bout of headaches using a very strict anti-headache diet, but of course I couldn't stick with it and it caused me to binge. I need a more reasonable, balanced approach to eating. Eat things I like but in moderation and balanced with good things. So this morning I really wanted cereal. I had some (probably a serving and a half?) and feel nervous about eating it but really good after. Like it was just what I wanted. But no guilt after.

We'll see how lunch goes.