Progress?

I've done a lot of thinking since my last post--about why I overate that night, whether it was something that should really bother me, how to move forward, etc. I think the reasons were what I stated, and the thing that made me feel better about it really was the fact that I hadn't deliberately gone out and bought binge food and eaten it all. It was not a deliberate thing. So I really didn't want to beat my self up over it. And I didn't. I felt ok. But I did want to analyze the reasons why to see if I could prevent it in the future. 

Right now I really, really want to go out and buy binge food and eat. It's been four days since the night I overate and I've been doing fine. Food was fine. but there's a lot of stress right now related to family stuff etc. All I want is sugar. I'm determined not to have it, though my mind is messing with me right now. I had planned on having chicken and mushroom risotto for dinner, but I decided I didnt want it and that I was going to have to eat something I actually wanted if I was going to not be pissed off about not eating my binge foods. So I'm thawing a steak. And I'm going to have roasted broccoli and baked french fries with it. That's a real meal that I can feel fine about. I hate this obsession with food, though. I wish I could just accept that Im not going to eat sugar and flour tonight, make the decision to have my (new and improved) dinner, and then move on. But I can't. Maybe it's because I'm hungry. I didn't have much breakfast or lunch, so that could be it. I need to start eating on a better schedule and more complete meals. That would help. Then I wouldn't be so hungry at 4 pm. 

I think I need to watch some more videos about BED. That is a good deterrant.

For now, it's time to go get my laundry out.

Peace Out